Monday, April 17, 2006

Jeff's Jumboday October - November 1996 Notebooks



Some green drawings with a stencilled R
a bit of blue; some black; a squiggle or two
light green pale green forest green cross-hatch
don't think so much about it; The Fear:
and loneliness : the School for Idiots.
Drawn from Memory: The Woods
robust black lines; double arrows
putting up with Winter
prayers for normal weather for whispers for fog
for stills for stays for stamps for leaves
up the hill to Armstrong Woods; about 2.1 miles

in SF: timesheets due
phone calls of KK3 were taken and delivered
KK3 in 25E x2861 10:00 25W x2831
need time line
phones: Osler; Lippetz
Pitney Bowes
get doc to Rhonda J
brother Frank

Peach Tea
Casserole/tuna
Pugliese bread
channel surfer
too negatively self-effacing
Wanted:
night riders
heavy snuggling
32-33 waist -- 35/36 inseam
preference for artistic clutter
loves washing dishes;
adorable would be just about perfect

soft cotton sweatshirts

agreeing - favorably

in SF: the least important day seems important --
all vapid
beauty about me.
he says you're too negatively self-effacing
indescribably delicious I say he is
ferocious -- ly
boring with compulsive personality

49, basically opinionated
difficult to "get"
tantrum prone
essentially a letter of
the alphabet

don't go backwards in books
do I or does my body remember everyone
everywhere

taking delight in despair --

shoots & sprouts --

blackberry fences --

looking at vast
space way in back
yet to be used

tempered
excitement
contained

composite heap
compost heap
no bones or milk

goofy grins
all over the place
always trying to remember

Basic structures will remain:
Cabins
larger dining hall
bold movements
scaled to the woods

use a similar architectural scheme --
an expansion
almost homage
to the original designers and layout of the place
cutting the back lawn
took all morning --
grass still dew --
red lawn mower
discover a power drive
when work's half-done

many names to begin
many others waiting
your name here

___________________________________

O Please Peter:

lull him nuzzle him lumbar
lull him liquid luscious loom
back to home lounge Lethe he
Na Leethe Bhi
O Peter Please:

pleasing Peter with a quarter
with a dollar with a shower full
of creamy (having) giggles & thigh

___________________________________

having your way with Mr. Gray

Goodbye to the days that were
Goodbye to the night


-----------------------------

mind everywhere
playing briefly
upon her discovery
Calliope sniffed
her food
looked keenly intent around
for you
She was the oldest and wisest of the Muses.

To refer back
What a Warm
& Willing Participant
He Proved

looking shocked
then answering always
with a question

then all that hubbub about
opening a
can of worms

& in an odd
way remained in
my suit --
with agreement --

yes - yes
I'll - accept
that - Steve
perfect - each
word - each
time - he
spoke - my
name

like that --
Briefly in love and through a huge
revision of tears

his hair's cut
as close as mine
fuzzy

French Photographers
express the unsayable
with flashlights

there must be a story
about closing the gate on me
even as I approached and said:

I or him or you
say or he said I said
they said

difficult groves of bamboo
a treacherous weed to a
serious gardner
best left subdued &
shadowy jade
bamboo

crying by the pool
the stream flows down the slope
in winter
with fury

winter deep
water in winter
living
there
with a
purpose
&
place

read Pindar
the power of language
to express whatever we please
or is that Pinter
I can't be sure
ooo's and aahhh's

in walks
R --
phone rings --
he's home --
wish him
happy birthday

Tantra --
he says
I say --
o please --
it's more
than -- that

--------------------------

Linear Confusion

Tuesday
the tender terrible lies
aches & complaints
& tonight Avalo is frisky

on the Blue
trisecting angle; a simple
example of implicit faith

words and a single image
Pantone 3 in 1 pen
a self-defeating argument

send MWelles $50 - due Tuesday
where are my shoes
in need of adventure

I am not a role model
Bamboo Beware
how is October possible

October chill in the Air
we just don't know how
to talk to our son

bamboo doors
bamboo windows
bamboo up close

warm gloves
scarves or mittens
mittens & scarves

painting bamboo with Pantone pens
the wind is about to rise
describing circles in water

Fencing
you can't play with his emotions
thrust into him warrior-like

wars in one's soul
bamboo & redwood
Mason with his fingers loved

pig-headed
like his father
a hundred years ago

stubborn
constrain someone from
doing something

he'll never
amount
to nothin'

--------------------------

wolves
wabbits
cats galore
consider someone or
something

get paperclips
consult with someone
about something

call Sally & Kirsten --
Sally in Seattle
paint that canvas maroon

write Adam -- about
Tennesse Williams or is it
William Carlos Williams

an autumn moment
autumnal shades
walnuts
filberts
thanksgiving
captain kangaroo
turkey
macy's day parade
fall
red
change
Thomas Wolfe
assassination

Opera Robert Ashley:
sometimes in chanting
monks will land upon
a note

stop an experience
stop an experience from happening?
a place
a person
rhapsodize memory
in imagination

stopping for
Melisma
gives the soul
its reason
for being

the nature of Acedia
between
gravity & grace
that time
around 3 to 5
in the afternoon

------------------------

Our Town

------------------------

feasible
sizable
fear

listen to Ashley's
perfect lives
in the kitchen

bathing in shower
soap everywhere
Our Town
on
TV

"music
come into the world
to
give pleasure"

"art thou weary"
"art thou languid"

"isn't the moonlight
terrible"

common sense
in syncopation

pomegrante moon
apple moon
pumpkin moon
nervous: moon

the O's of October

-------------------------------

abrupt changes

Balance:

strangers. nothing all together
but naked or nude or terror or
tears or healthy or heat or heart
or afraid or books

news raps:
words & phantasies and emotions
& things like that
to figure out

chased by an angel in army boots

construction outside
crews rebuilding the Civic Center
planning for 1998

2000 you'll be 54
a mere 4 years
a mirrored life --

memory's a photocopy of the
original

mother gibbs
they're going --

eternal where?

one dare not whisper
for fear of missing

a word --

a hush & then
the evening stars:

when does this feeling
go away : feeling strange
here


legacies
grants
powers of attorney
who will take care of me:
Fear

50/50 turning 50
watching
My Neighbor Totoro

old enough to be the president
or as old as Bill Clinton
without a career

banging bursts of drums
beauty over bridges
brave girls shy boys

----------------------------

billie holiday
was more functional
than you are

----------------------------

A swirl of negative
self-effacing words
says a haunted
Mason Waller:

tempting me
hoping for tears

------------------------------

bathtub boys
who sincerely invite
the sound of your voice

------------------------------

fresh first air
chill early blinded by
ghosts & acorns

------------------------------

hating so deep he sobs

------------------------------

Charles always coy when he
wants something from me, says:
If you're ever lost on Mt Shasta should I phone?

---- email Robert: we all miss you. I think Mason the most

call everyone for Sunday

pretend to be curious about sex
when the deeper doubts occur

expiate dreams

feelin' something special
in the air

Juliet Prowse on TV
Paseo Robles
where the man shines by
attracting the woman
in dance

Smoothely

the couple in stripes

ballroom dancing as an olympic sport

stone bodies
torn bodies
taped bodies
under plastic
beauty pinned
held
perfect
chaos
formulas

the Catharsis of 1996.
visual
how
activated
placed
raw exhibition looms -- hot
sensational show of
eager to share wonder

Michael K
gets distant
when he gets closest

Giotto
is the conclusion
of a long effort: blue

the magnificent chant
of November: close before
December

notice the O's
the sculupted R's
the glorious U's

would you
help me on
with my coat?

the cold is yet to penetrate
his sleep deepens
darkens opens

-- Jeff Wietor

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