Crash in the Castro

FoxReno Video





Castro Crash

Global X photos

Life is agid, life is fulgid.

Life is what the least of us make most of us feel the least of us make the most of.
Quine

Jeff's Jumboday October - November 1996 Notebooks

Some green drawings with a stencilled R
a bit of blue; some black; a squiggle or two
light green pale green forest green cross-hatch
don't think so much about it; The Fear:
and loneliness : the School for Idiots.
Drawn from Memory: The Woods
robust black lines; double arrows
putting up with Winter
prayers for normal weather for whispers for fog
for stills for stays for stamps for leaves
up the hill to Armstrong Woods; about 2.1 miles

in SF: timesheets due
phone calls of KK3 were taken and delivered
KK3 in 25E x2861 10:00 25W x2831
need time line
phones: Osler; Lippetz
Pitney Bowes
get doc to Rhonda J
brother Frank

Peach Tea
Casserole/tuna
Pugliese bread
channel surfer
too negatively self-effacing
Wanted:
night riders
heavy snuggling
32-33 waist -- 35/36 inseam
preference for artistic clutter
loves washing dishes;
adorable would be just about perfect

soft cotton sweatshirts

agreeing - favorably

in SF: the least important day seems important --
all vapid
beauty about me.
he says you're too negatively self-effacing
indescribably delicious I say he is
ferocious -- ly
boring with compulsive personality

49, basically opinionated
difficult to "get"
tantrum prone
essentially a letter of
the alphabet

don't go backwards in books
do I or does my body remember everyone
everywhere

taking delight in despair --

shoots & sprouts --

blackberry fences --

looking at vast
space way in back
yet to be used

tempered
excitement
contained

composite heap
compost heap
no bones or milk

goofy grins
all over the place
always trying to remember

Basic structures will remain:
Cabins
larger dining hall
bold movements
scaled to the woods

use a similar architectural scheme --
an expansion
almost homage
to the original designers and layout of the place
cutting the back lawn
took all morning --
grass still dew --
red lawn mower
discover a power drive
when work's half-done

many names to begin
many others waiting
your name here

___________________________________

O Please Peter:

lull him nuzzle him lumbar
lull him liquid luscious loom
back to home lounge Lethe he
Na Leethe Bhi
O Peter Please:

pleasing Peter with a quarter
with a dollar with a shower full
of creamy (having) giggles & thigh

___________________________________

having your way with Mr. Gray

Goodbye to the days that were
Goodbye to the night

-----------------------------

mind everywhere
playing briefly
upon her discovery
Calliope sniffed
her food
looked keenly intent around
for you
She was the oldest and wisest of the Muses.

To refer back
What a Warm
& Willing Participant
He Proved

looking shocked
then answering always
with a question

then all that hubbub about
opening a
can of worms

& in an odd
way remained in
my suit --
with agreement --

yes - yes
I'll - accept
that - Steve
perfect - each
word - each
time - he
spoke - my
name

like that --
Briefly in love and through a huge
revision of tears

his hair's cut
as close as mine
fuzzy

French Photographers
express the unsayable
with flashlights

there must be a story
about closing the gate on me
even as I approached and said:

I or him or you
say or he said I said
they said

difficult groves of bamboo
a treacherous weed to a
serious gardner
best left subdued &
shadowy jade
bamboo

crying by the pool
the stream flows down the slope
in winter
with fury

winter deep
water in winter
living
there
with a
purpose
&
place

read Pindar
the power of language
to express whatever we please
or is that Pinter
I can't be sure
ooo's and aahhh's

in walks
R --
phone rings --
he's home --
wish him
happy birthday

Tantra --
he says
I say --
o please --
it's more
than -- that

--------------------------

Linear Confusion

Tuesday
the tender terrible lies
aches & complaints
& tonight Avalo is frisky

on the Blue
trisecting angle; a simple
example of implicit faith

words and a single image
Pantone 3 in 1 pen
a self-defeating argument

send MWelles $50 - due Tuesday
where are my shoes
in need of adventure

I am not a role model
Bamboo Beware
how is October possible

October chill in the Air
we just don't know how
to talk to our son

bamboo doors
bamboo windows
bamboo up close

warm gloves
scarves or mittens
mittens & scarves

painting bamboo with Pantone pens
the wind is about to rise
describing circles in water

Fencing
you can't play with his emotions
thrust into him warrior-like

wars in one's soul
bamboo & redwood
Mason with his fingers loved

pig-headed
like his father
a hundred years ago

stubborn
constrain someone from
doing something

he'll never
amount
to nothin'

--------------------------

wolves
wabbits
cats galore
consider someone or
something

get paperclips
consult with someone
about something

call Sally & Kirsten --
Sally in Seattle
paint that canvas maroon

write Adam -- about
Tennesse Williams or is it
William Carlos Williams

an autumn moment
autumnal shades
walnuts
filberts
thanksgiving
captain kangaroo
turkey
macy's day parade
fall
red
change
Thomas Wolfe
assassination

Opera Robert Ashley:
sometimes in chanting
monks will land upon
a note

stop an experience
stop an experience from happening?
a place
a person
rhapsodize memory
in imagination

stopping for
Melisma
gives the soul
its reason
for being

the nature of Acedia
between
gravity & grace
that time
around 3 to 5
in the afternoon

------------------------

Our Town

------------------------

feasible
sizable
fear

listen to Ashley's
perfect lives
in the kitchen

bathing in shower
soap everywhere
Our Town
on
TV

"music
come into the world
to
give pleasure"

"art thou weary"
"art thou languid"

"isn't the moonlight
terrible"

common sense
in syncopation

pomegrante moon
apple moon
pumpkin moon
nervous: moon

the O's of October

-------------------------------

abrupt changes

Balance:

strangers. nothing all together
but naked or nude or terror or
tears or healthy or heat or heart
or afraid or books

news raps:
words & phantasies and emotions
& things like that
to figure out

chased by an angel in army boots

construction outside
crews rebuilding the Civic Center
planning for 1998

2000 you'll be 54
a mere 4 years
a mirrored life --

memory's a photocopy of the
original

mother gibbs
they're going --

eternal where?

one dare not whisper
for fear of missing

a word --

a hush & then
the evening stars:

when does this feeling
go away : feeling strange
here

legacies
grants
powers of attorney
who will take care of me:
Fear

50/50 turning 50
watching
My Neighbor Totoro

old enough to be the president
or as old as Bill Clinton
without a career

banging bursts of drums
beauty over bridges
brave girls shy boys

----------------------------

billie holiday
was more functional
than you are

----------------------------

A swirl of negative
self-effacing words
says a haunted
Mason Waller:

tempting me
hoping for tears

------------------------------

bathtub boys
who sincerely invite
the sound of your voice

------------------------------

fresh first air
chill early blinded by
ghosts & acorns

------------------------------

hating so deep he sobs

------------------------------

Charles always coy when he
wants something from me, says:
If you're ever lost on Mt Shasta should I phone?

---- email Robert: we all miss you. I think Mason the most

call everyone for Sunday

pretend to be curious about sex
when the deeper doubts occur

expiate dreams

feelin' something special
in the air

Juliet Prowse on TV
Paseo Robles
where the man shines by
attracting the woman
in dance

Smoothely

the couple in stripes

ballroom dancing as an olympic sport

stone bodies
torn bodies
taped bodies
under plastic
beauty pinned
held
perfect
chaos
formulas

the Catharsis of 1996.
visual
how
activated
placed
raw exhibition looms -- hot
sensational show of
eager to share wonder

Michael K
gets distant
when he gets closest

Giotto
is the conclusion
of a long effort: blue

the magnificent chant
of November: close before
December

notice the O's
the sculupted R's
the glorious U's

would you
help me on
with my coat?

the cold is yet to penetrate
his sleep deepens
darkens opens

-- Jeff Wietor

Journey by Rain : Guerneville

Five AM
Saturday
has it's own life:
Indigo/Prussian Blue
Skies
Gray clouds pre-dawn splendor
Is it March 31 or April 1
without a calendar

travelling conversation:
kids can't get loans --
and then these kids
pay all that money --
and then can't get a job --
and they don't help them
find a marketable major --
it's awful I don't see
why kids are going
to school --
a lot of them aren't
well informed --

rain flecks on car window
rain beads; rain fuzzy
rain drizzles; rain designs

you have to shop around
you have to see what area
you can stand
there're no jobs in anthropology --
she didn't like mosquitoes --
she's going in for teaching --
you think it's a question of money
you have to get experience

palm tree silhouette morning sky --
how busy it is
an oak tree in the middle of a grassy field
you have to fight for a degree
green rolling hills
clumps of trees
morning sky silver
it's beautiful
what's that famous school back east?

street lights fluorescent yellow
a chemically bright yellow
stark red lights off the highway
it shows you it's a complex issue
memories of motion:
train rides : lights in the night
lights in the middle of night
lights along the night
light within the night
we pass an orange van
rich color saturation of color
she knew how to ask the right questions
without antagonizing anyone
she got a job

eye to eye with the sky
morning light -- travelling
North
sunlight years away
now she's looking for something else
looking
East
trying to make a name for herself
she's very independent
even though she doesn't share anything with me.

sky changing gray
sky changing clear --
light blue
not in my head blue

the world is an enormous complex

that's pretty neat
wow
she rents out property
she won't rent to me
I was kept out

East it's pink East it's gray
it's a movmement weekend
it's private

I forget
I have forgotten
I forgot
if I be forgotten

Exit Signs
Highway Signs
Blue Signs

he's so alive but
how do you keep
it alive for

the Audience

: Subject: a tough subject
:to do an artistic film:
of a "tough subject" :
very hard

I like film
I like making them --
what's a
tough subject

we can imagine we
hear the
dead can dance
sky light gray

6:09 am
it's still Saturday
the whistle blower
risked everything

the questioner didn't ask
the right questions

I think we need to see other people.

Impressions of travelling North:
we're moving into the
fog the Big Dark --
Rain Clouds - the
W. Sierra Avenue
Rohnert Park exit
Richard Misrach photo of gray sky
North Gray
gray rain slick
heavy rain
thick dense
strong rain
pelting windshield

Santa Rosa Blvd
the green sign

Todd Road

Rain: heavy at times
Rain: it's up for grabs
Rain: I like developing things
Rain: I don't crowd people
Rain: read an autobiography of Gloria Swanson
Rain: she was an incredible woman

6:14 am
pronouns
she got 5 scientists out of
Germany to invent things we
needed

she just did it through her connections

Los Robles Lodge

Rain: still falls.
brightly

6:18 am
he just took the moment and made
an opportunity out of it

6:19 am
I can help in certain ways

Fulton Drive going right
then life
back road that ambience

going into the woods
the forest feel the vinyards
then to the left the forest ahead

meanings: I am who I am
I am becoming what I wish to become

being &/or becoming
these are words that can matter
may matter volitional matter
will matter

6:25 am
overarching trees
brief tunnel of trees

blue sky break
conversational breaks in the weather

vegetation; thickness alongside the road
dense green; John Constable Romantic Green
more densely green; playing chess
with the sky green; a sense of seclusion
green so you can see what's happening green;
there are no jobs so you have to
create work for people.

6:30 am
there's probably a structure
we're not aware of

can you tell
we've made good time?

the river's high
high up the banks
high water flowing thick gray
some white water gray flowing
high up the sides of the banks


they don't throw people out
they may have to give it up
they develop the people
they have given him challenges
they're not trying to use you up
they bet on him
they went back there
they visited them
they took him around
they're way faster than we are

6:36 am

they're inclusive
they can't walk away from their history
they're trying to be socially conscious
they there,
there they . . .
their
the . . . the . . .
Rusian River ahead
river sacred songs
Armstrong River Road
the rhythm of the song kept them going
(Copper Woman)

6:48 am
arrival - fog - rain drips from leaves
from pine needles
what did they do?
fish

S-Curves travel river curves black birds swoop
fog - light choir
of frogs

Cabin 6



Fulcanelli
the mystery of cathedrals
sound installation
sound insulation
below 125 hz - rid
knocking out frequency
piano in room acoustically silent
octaves; Sony headphones

good judgement comes from experience
experience comes from bad judgement
m twain

your name here:
Dionysius the Areopagite
The Celestial Hierarchy
That every divine illumination, while going forth with love in various ways to the objects of its forethought, remains one. Nor is this all: it also unifies the things illuminated.

Project: Lighthouse Moments
spells and wonders of the Castle of Dampierre

Discovery 15th Century
Disciples of Hermes
Veiled Essence Higher
Machicholated conical
Loggia
Romanesque 1545 - 46
history verbal picture
paint history
historical weight
stones; red wash
dried blood and gold
insignia
secret symbolic science
building mix gossip with secrets
excellent memory
per. per seVere
pers. persevere
H.
Castle - alchemically
SE.COGNSTRE.ESTRE.ET.NON.PARESTRE

tO kNOW oNESELF, tO bE & tO nOT sHOW OFF.
P. 292

Study:
DAT JVSTVS FRENA SVPERBIS

The Just Dampens the Proud One

how

my "L" sign/insignia/emblem
with crown: to mean projection : : gold
that is alchemically produced gold

alchemical myth
adam & eve

not unknown in the ancient world:
much in common with Brancusi's Endless Column and
Table of Silence

Have you ever thought about the invevitable consequences
which are to result from unlimited progress?

Have you ever thought about the invevitable consequences
which are to result from limited progress?

Have you ever thought about the invevitable consequences
which are to result from no progress?

PROPRIIS.PEREO.PENNIS

Image: Medieval
Image: Alchemy
Image: Castle XXV

Michael Maier: Alchemical Quadrature
17th Century hermeticist & Physician
determine relationships
Atalanta Fugiens: The Flying Atalanta
or
Philosophical Emblems
of the
Secrets of Nature
(determined relationships)

Alain Danielou: Music & The Power of Sound
Is there --
musical --
the music

Interest:
Medieval. Alchemy.
Christian. Stone.
Masons. Objects.
Traverse. Visit.
Sounds. Gold.
Copper. Anthracite.
Ivory. Cymatics.

Yard Stick segments
rearrange the segments
you still measure a yard

If the cathedrals
were built
according to
we'll say
higher knowledge
they'd have to (be
built) express
certain definite
numerical relationships.
Those relationships
(the structure) are to
be found in
the Just Octave.
(perhaps)
laws/rules
sound & form = Cymatics

sound medieval objects
mystery tableaus
feels like an interval
lunch
do/es

AFTERNOON

frogs ventriloquist
rain puddles pine tree
drip light / rain

idea of Celestial Hierarchies
Medieval sculptures
Saint Denis
panel 8
Medieval Poetry
look into
in building
decorative non-decorative
sculpture
signs of fire
sings of water
sings of earth
signs of air
(triangles of . . )

from 400 a.d. to 15th century
Goodbye to All That . .
A History of Pagan Europe: Prudence Jones
Barbara Tuchman: A Distant Mirror
Robert Graves: The White Goddess
Henry Adams: MONT SAINT MICHEL AND CHARTRES
abracadabra G = 7th
Architecture used to convey ideas: secular
sacred
Cloud of Unknowing;
Evelyn Underhill; Gargoyles; worth looking into

light coming out of
Saint Denis
Abbot Suger
images salvation
rejuvenate
1st ideas : Dionysis Areopagite
worth looking
into

Ron Fricke : Chronos
Steve has images of Celestial Harmony
Image/Likeness
go simple
Shamans, mystics, doctors

5:11 pm
close day
sun setting
evening ideas
group intelligence
to learn
how to coax something forward
inner/outer/question

5:23 pm
relationships to forest sunshine
learning to find a language
shakespeare actors prisoners
Mistletoe grows in clumps
trees without leaves mistletoe grows



Mistletoe is a misunderstood plant. Although most people think of it as a parasite, it is only partially parasitic, or a “semiparasite”. Note that the stems and leaves of the mistletoe plant are green, thus it does produce some of its own chlorophyll. Therefore it makes some of its own food. It becomes more parasitic, however, whenever there is a drought--then the mistletoe will take water away from its host at the host’s expense. Mistletoe dies if its host dies

she mentions Spanish Moss in the trees of Oregon

stopping: Sebastopol
Whole Foods : :
youth, beauty, money, hippie leftover
children, pretty children in flowing clothes
look drugged on some sort of newfangled something
or other I can't tell but guess: happy hippie
money hugs grass or irish stew warm food and
scones (or mistletoe)

why does the sight of big mistletoe
balls intrigue me: faux nests
she looks
she talks
the evening
now long lines of light
coming and going

the day
like
Fred Astaire
practicing
his dance

the realization:
we're all having trouble
organizing our things
our lives
our treasured
treasures
our objects
our inevitable

disappearance
into
rain
into
light
into
earth
into
air

-- Jeff Wietor